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scriveynerTitle: I Don't Believe in the Sun
Fandom: Samurai Flamenco
AU: Blind AU
Characters/Pairing: Gotou/Masayoshi
Rating: T
Length: 1112
Summary: we need to talk.
we need to talk.
uh-oh. ((´д ｀ )) what's the matter, gocchin? did u fight with masayossui again?
it's ... something like that.
oh no! （。ˇ ⊖ˇ）♡ u need to make up soon! he needs u right now, you didn't leave him alone, did u?
he's a big boy. he'll be fine for a little while.
（−＿−；） that isn't like u gocchin. what happened?
#
He dreamed of the sun, golden and bright in a summer sky. Cotton-white clouds swam along in an ocean of vibrant blue. The grass was so green, soft beneath his fingers - and he watched people in the distance, on the beach, moving around quickly, playing in the sand as the waves lapped gently against the shore.
It was hard to tell where dream bled into memory when he woke. Masayoshi clutched the sheet over his shoulder, eyes squeezed tightly closed, and thought about how empty that dream was, just him alone.
His cell phone was ringing, somewhere in the bedroom. Masayoshi sat up, listened to the musical tone, recognized it as Ishihara's ringtone. The ringer cut the tone off mid-melody, and Masayoshi sighed, hands in his sheets. He'd never find it, if it wasn't going off.
Masayoshi thought of Gotou, just a few days ago, helping him lay out his most-used items on the dresser, and Masayoshi got out of bed and walked slowly, hands out in front of him to prevent bruised shins and stubbed toes.
He found the dresser, walked himself to the end, hand skimming over it and found his cell phone, next to wallet, right where Gotou had told him he'd placed it. Masayoshi touched his phone all over, found the call button, and pressed it. "Call-"
The phone beeped at his hesitation. "I didn't understand that," the system said, its voice generic and non-threatening. "Call whom?"
"Gotou-san. Call Gotou-san."
"Dialing."
#
Masayoshi said that ... he's in love with me.
#
(The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later, or leave your message at the tone.)
"Gotou-san, I ...." I love you. I miss you. I'm scared. "I'm sorry. Please, can we talk?"
#
are you still there?
#
(The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later, or leave your message at the tone.)
*click*
#
gocchin?
I was getting scared, don't DO that to me!
do you love me?
Of course I do, isn't that obvious?
do you love masayoshi?
#
(Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of Ishihara Sumi. I can't be reached at the moment, so please leave a brief message and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible.)
"Ishihara-san, I've ... I screwed things up. Bad. Can you come by, when you get a chance?"
#
It was excruciating, the silence. Masayoshi had tried to turn the television on, for background, but when he hit what he thought was the power button nothing happened. So he sat on the couch, alone with nothing but his thoughts.
He could meditate, at least - Master had taught him that. He could do kata - when he knew he had a reasonable amount of room to practice, and he wasn't certain how far away anything was, and had managed to trip over a bag incongruously on the floor that he realized had to be Gotou's. He kept his cell phone in his pocket just in case, just in case....
The call he was looking for never came. Ishihara called him back an hour later, worried - and Masayoshi said he'd had a fight with Gotou, and he felt like an idiot but couldn't even feed himself, didn't know where things were and would burn himself again - and Ishihara had said hang on, she'd send someone over and be by later herself to check on him.
So he waited, for her person to come over, to help him because he couldn't help himself. It was humiliating, and he hated it, and - he'd give anything, anything, to rewind the world three weeks, to before this, and just ....
Just what, like he wouldn't still charge headfirst into the burning building, like he wouldn't still risk life and limb to save that little girl, that last face he ever saw.
Masayoshi sighed, and said, quietly, "I'm such a moron."
#
i don't know how to answer that.
you had to think for all that time, and that's your response?
i'm sorry, i don't! what do you want me to say?
i want you to tell me the truth, gocchin. are you in love with him?
I don't know!
i think you do.
#
The knock at the door startled Masayoshi - he staggered to his feet and banged his shoulder into the doorframe as he stumbled in the direction of the apartment door. "Sorry, sorry!" he called. "I'm coming!"
He groped for the door, found the lock and realized all this time it had been unlocked. He opened the door and tried on a smile - it was easy to pretend, he was good at that. "Hello?"
"Ah, Hazama-san?"
"Yes, that's me - sorry, I can't-" Masayoshi waved his hand in front of his eyes, hoping the stranger understood. "Did Ishihara-san send you?"
"Yes, yes, I'm here to help."
"Come in." Masayoshi shuffled aside - got the sense as the person passed by that he was shorter than himself. He closed the door as the stranger took his shoes off in the genkan.
"How can I assist you today, Hazama-san?"
"Please, call me Masayoshi," Masayoshi said softly. "I ... I can't make myself food yet, I'm sorry to put you out, but I'm starving...."
"Not a problem at all, Hazama-san. Is this your kitchen?"
#
let me know when you decide, gocchin.
#
Masayoshi leaned against the counter as he heard the sizzle of something cooking on the stove. He hadn't really realized how hungry he was - yesterday felt longer, further away than not. "Thank you again, for this," Masayoshi said, listening to him move about the kitchen.
"Is it permanent?"
The words struck through, and Masayoshi touched his face, felt the smooth skin that had been blistered and peeling, right after. "I don't know," he said softly, his voice shaking.
"Oh - oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." Masayoshi heard him come around the island, stop beside him. "That's horrible. I had no idea." He took one of Masayoshi's hands, squeezed it.
Masayoshi smiled a little, generically. "Thank you, Sawada-san."
#
are you there?
hello...?
....
please, don't leave me alone....
Fandom: Samurai Flamenco
AU: Blind AU
Characters/Pairing: Gotou/Masayoshi
Rating: T
Length: 1112
Summary: we need to talk.
we need to talk.
uh-oh. ((´д ｀ )) what's the matter, gocchin? did u fight with masayossui again?
it's ... something like that.
oh no! （。ˇ ⊖ˇ）♡ u need to make up soon! he needs u right now, you didn't leave him alone, did u?
he's a big boy. he'll be fine for a little while.
（−＿−；） that isn't like u gocchin. what happened?
He dreamed of the sun, golden and bright in a summer sky. Cotton-white clouds swam along in an ocean of vibrant blue. The grass was so green, soft beneath his fingers - and he watched people in the distance, on the beach, moving around quickly, playing in the sand as the waves lapped gently against the shore.
It was hard to tell where dream bled into memory when he woke. Masayoshi clutched the sheet over his shoulder, eyes squeezed tightly closed, and thought about how empty that dream was, just him alone.
His cell phone was ringing, somewhere in the bedroom. Masayoshi sat up, listened to the musical tone, recognized it as Ishihara's ringtone. The ringer cut the tone off mid-melody, and Masayoshi sighed, hands in his sheets. He'd never find it, if it wasn't going off.
Masayoshi thought of Gotou, just a few days ago, helping him lay out his most-used items on the dresser, and Masayoshi got out of bed and walked slowly, hands out in front of him to prevent bruised shins and stubbed toes.
He found the dresser, walked himself to the end, hand skimming over it and found his cell phone, next to wallet, right where Gotou had told him he'd placed it. Masayoshi touched his phone all over, found the call button, and pressed it. "Call-"
The phone beeped at his hesitation. "I didn't understand that," the system said, its voice generic and non-threatening. "Call whom?"
"Gotou-san. Call Gotou-san."
"Dialing."
Masayoshi said that ... he's in love with me.
(The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later, or leave your message at the tone.)
"Gotou-san, I ...." I love you. I miss you. I'm scared. "I'm sorry. Please, can we talk?"
are you still there?
(The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later, or leave your message at the tone.)
*click*
gocchin?
I was getting scared, don't DO that to me!
do you love me?
Of course I do, isn't that obvious?
do you love masayoshi?
(Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of Ishihara Sumi. I can't be reached at the moment, so please leave a brief message and I'll get back to you as quickly as possible.)
"Ishihara-san, I've ... I screwed things up. Bad. Can you come by, when you get a chance?"
It was excruciating, the silence. Masayoshi had tried to turn the television on, for background, but when he hit what he thought was the power button nothing happened. So he sat on the couch, alone with nothing but his thoughts.
He could meditate, at least - Master had taught him that. He could do kata - when he knew he had a reasonable amount of room to practice, and he wasn't certain how far away anything was, and had managed to trip over a bag incongruously on the floor that he realized had to be Gotou's. He kept his cell phone in his pocket just in case, just in case....
The call he was looking for never came. Ishihara called him back an hour later, worried - and Masayoshi said he'd had a fight with Gotou, and he felt like an idiot but couldn't even feed himself, didn't know where things were and would burn himself again - and Ishihara had said hang on, she'd send someone over and be by later herself to check on him.
So he waited, for her person to come over, to help him because he couldn't help himself. It was humiliating, and he hated it, and - he'd give anything, anything, to rewind the world three weeks, to before this, and just ....
Just what, like he wouldn't still charge headfirst into the burning building, like he wouldn't still risk life and limb to save that little girl, that last face he ever saw.
Masayoshi sighed, and said, quietly, "I'm such a moron."
i don't know how to answer that.
you had to think for all that time, and that's your response?
i'm sorry, i don't! what do you want me to say?
i want you to tell me the truth, gocchin. are you in love with him?
I don't know!
i think you do.
The knock at the door startled Masayoshi - he staggered to his feet and banged his shoulder into the doorframe as he stumbled in the direction of the apartment door. "Sorry, sorry!" he called. "I'm coming!"
He groped for the door, found the lock and realized all this time it had been unlocked. He opened the door and tried on a smile - it was easy to pretend, he was good at that. "Hello?"
"Ah, Hazama-san?"
"Yes, that's me - sorry, I can't-" Masayoshi waved his hand in front of his eyes, hoping the stranger understood. "Did Ishihara-san send you?"
"Yes, yes, I'm here to help."
"Come in." Masayoshi shuffled aside - got the sense as the person passed by that he was shorter than himself. He closed the door as the stranger took his shoes off in the genkan.
"How can I assist you today, Hazama-san?"
"Please, call me Masayoshi," Masayoshi said softly. "I ... I can't make myself food yet, I'm sorry to put you out, but I'm starving...."
"Not a problem at all, Hazama-san. Is this your kitchen?"
let me know when you decide, gocchin.
Masayoshi leaned against the counter as he heard the sizzle of something cooking on the stove. He hadn't really realized how hungry he was - yesterday felt longer, further away than not. "Thank you again, for this," Masayoshi said, listening to him move about the kitchen.
"Is it permanent?"
The words struck through, and Masayoshi touched his face, felt the smooth skin that had been blistered and peeling, right after. "I don't know," he said softly, his voice shaking.
"Oh - oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize." Masayoshi heard him come around the island, stop beside him. "That's horrible. I had no idea." He took one of Masayoshi's hands, squeezed it.
Masayoshi smiled a little, generically. "Thank you, Sawada-san."
are you there?
hello...?
....
please, don't leave me alone....
